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Monday, August 6, 2012

Motivation/Negativity

I have stated this before, I don’t like feeling boxed in.  Currently I feel boxed in, suffocated.  My job is working my last good nerve.  I am anxious to finish my novel, just to say I did it.  It used to bother me when people would ask me why I wanted to write, or what is my Plan B if it fails.  There is no Plan B, I want to write, point blank, period.  Once I explain my position and how I feel and what I hope to achieve, I get odd looks or comments such as “It sounds like you just don’t want to work.”  You know what?  That may be true.  I don’t want to work doing some B.S. I don’t want to do!  That is just me, that is who I am.  I will do whatever I need to do in order to make sure my family is taken care of, but that does not mean I have to like it.  I believe stress will cut your life short and what is more stressful than doing something you don’t want to do?  People these days are so miserable and I refuse to be one of them.  If I can only write part time and my novels only reach a max of 100 people then I am fine with that.  My writing is my safe place.  It makes me happy and that is the most important thing to me.  If you need to take a chance on something, who better to take a chance on than yourself?  You will not know what you can achieve if you never try.  There are two people in the Olympics that I know from school, one from high school, and one from college.  I don’t know if the goal and intention was to make it to the Olympics, but they did.  I can only imagine all the side glances they received when they announced they wanted to run for a living. But guess what?  They are making history and living their dreams.   If nobody else ever motivates me again, that will be okay because I will motivate myself.  I don’t live my life with the intent on living the dream that somebody else has designed for me.  Sorry.  I’m me and I will continue to be me.

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